Crabs in a bucket

"When someone says, 'You've changed,' it just means you've stopped living your life their way."

Did you know that crab collectors don't have to put lids on their buckets full of crabs? That's because if any one crab attempts to escape the bucket, the others will pull him back down.

People are the same way.

Say you have a group of people you like to hang out with. Your favorite meeting place is called The Status Quo, and everybody gathers there for drinks and appetizers after work. You down beers and potato skins and complain about your job,your boss, your significant other.

One day one of the regulars decides he's not going to The Status Quo to hang out. Instead he's going to the gym, then he's going home to read a book and go to bed early.

"Who's this guy think he is?" says the people meeting at The S.Q. "Does he think he's better than us, or what?"

The next time that guy makes an appearance at The S.Q. he gets the cold shoulder and a little ribbing.


Crabs in a bucket.

I see that dynamic all the time when someone decides they want to get fit. Friends and family are supportive at first, but when it starts to interfere with the social calendar and menu, they suddenly aren't so supportive anymore.

"What do you mean you're going to bring your own food instead of eating the bratwurst and beer at my barbecue?" 

"What do you mean you can't stay out till midnight because you have a workout in the morning?"

When someone tries to better themselves, it makes everyone else uncomfortable. Why? Maybe because it forces self-examination onto the inhabitants of The S.Q. It makes them wonder if maybe they ought to change their lives, too. And that sounds hard. So maybe if they just bully that person back into The S.Q. we can all be happily unhappy with the current state of affairs.

It takes a lot of gumption to stand up against peer pressure. If you don't have a lifeline to people who are trying to do the same thing as you, it's very likely that you'll fall back into the bucket. 

Do the people you hang around with hold you accountable and push you to be better, or do they accept -- even enable -- your excuses and apathy?

We need people in our lives that will help us get out of the bucket. Let the crabs hang out in The S.Q.

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Workout of the Day

P90X2 P.A.P. Upper