Burritos, Chickens...But not chicken burritos

I want to tell you about a very good butternut squash and black bean burrito that I fixed for dinner the other night, but first: a chicken update.

In a bitter twist of chicken irony, Polly, the lone survivor of the massacre and former picker who was rehabilitated when I chucked a tennis ball at her, is being picked.

Ugh.

See that bald spot on the right bottom part of her backside?
Also, see that chicken on the right? I love how it looks like she's
about to take flight. In actuality it's the butt of another chicken.

Dear Readers, I ask you: when is enough enough? Should I give up my chicken dreams and sell the whole outfit coop, stock, and barrel? Because I just don't know what to do. NO ONE is earning their keep by laying any eggs around here. I CANNOT figure out who is doing the picking because I've never seen any of the four new chickens (who I call Natalie, Blair, Jo, and Tootie) be anything but scared of Polly because she is the queen bee and is rude to them (pecking at their heads and chasing them from the corn I throw on the ground, for example).

And even if I did see somebody pick at her I'm not sure I could pick the perp out of a lineup because:

Can YOU tell these birds apart?

I know it's all very entertaining but I just don't know if I can do it anymore. These girls better start laying some eggs STAT so I can remember why in the world I put up with this nonsense. 

And just so ya know? I did have to rub Vicks Vapor Rub on a chicken butt AGAIN the other night, and it didn't seem to do a dang bit of good. 

Let's move on to a happier topic: Butternut Squash and Black Bean Burritos.

We had an absolute bumper crop of butternut squash in our garden this year. It was fantastic! I planted seeds from a squash I bought at the store, and the plants went absolutely nutso. Do you know how expensive butternut squash is? You see it at the store and you're all, "Oh, 99 cents a pound! That's not so bad!" and then you roll over to the register and the sucker weighs 4.75 pounds and you pay almost five bucks for your squash! They are HEAVY. 

When someone in this house asks what veg we're having with dinner, it's a pretty safe bet it's going to be butternut squash in some form: roasted, mashed, soup, and now in a burrito. 

And this is after we've been eating the crop down for a few weeks!
Good thing that these squash last a good long time.

I saw this recipe on Pinterest and, (drum roll, please): I actually made it! This doesn't happen often. If you don't already follow me on Pinterest I suggest you do so: I pin fabulous, gorgeous-looking meals that I'm sure would be delicious if only I'd remember to make them. (Here is my Pinterest page, if you are so inclined: http://pinterest.com/sshobbs/boards/)

This recipe is courtesy of the vegan recipe blog Oh She Glows, which I was already aware of through Angela's Green Monster Movement site of delicious spinach smoothies. (That's right, I said spinach smoothies. Look into it!)

Since I have SO MUCH squash on hand, I was eager to try these babies out, and they did not disappoint. Drew liked them, and I'm sure Kate would have too if she hadn't been "in a mood." I even packed them in Drew's lunch the day after!

So, here's the recipe. Check out Angela's blog for many more great vegan recipes and pretty food. Enjoy!

Black Bean and Butternut Squash Burritos

Yield: 4 burritos or 3.5 cups of filling

Ingredients:
1 medium butternut squash, peeled, cubed, & roasted
1/2 cup uncooked short grain brown rice (yields: 1.5 cups cooked)
1-2 tsp olive oil
1 cup chopped sweet onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 red pepper, chopped
1 tsp kosher salt, or to taste
2 tsp ground cumin, or to taste
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper, or to taste
One 15-oz can black beans (about 1.5-2 cups cooked), drained and rinsed
3/4 cup Daiya cheese
4 tortilla wraps (large or x-large)
Toppings of choice: (avocado, salsa, vegan sour cream, spinach/lettuce, cilantro, etc)

1. Preheat oven to 425F and line a large glass dish with tinfoil. Drizzle olive oil on squash and give a shake of salt and pepper. Coat with hands. Roast chopped butternut squash for 45 mins. or until tender.

2. Cook brown rice (for directions, see here)

3. In a large skillet over medium-low heat, add oil, onion, and minced garlic. Sautee for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Now add in salt and seasonings and stir well.

4. Add chopped red pepper, black beans, and cooked rice and sauté for another 10 mins. on low.

5. When b’nut squash is tender remove from oven and cool slightly. Add 1.5 cups of the cooked butternut squash to the skillet and stir well. You can mash the squash with a fork if some pieces are too large. Add Daiya cheese and heat another couple minutes.

6. Add bean filling to tortilla along with desired toppings. Wrap and serve. Leftover filling can be reheated the next day for lunch in a wrap or as a salad topper.

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Workout of the Day

Focus T25 Rip't Circuit

Why does a 25-minute program wear me out so bad? I suspect it's because Shaun T is some sort of evil genius.

Three Oxymorons of Fitness

Oxymoron: something that is made up of contradictory or incongruous elements.

Oxymoron of Fitness #1: To get energy, you need to expend energy.
Otherwise known as: an object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion. (Thanks, Isaac!)



I'm betting you experience this phenomenon on lazy Saturday mornings. You get up, get breakfast, and park it on the couch. Next thing you know it's lunchtime. You're stuck. You're not in motion. But if you were to get out of bed, go for a short jog, then eat breakfast, your day looks a lot different. You have energy to take care of things. That activity in the morning carries through your entire day. An object in motion stays in motion.

When Zach and I started exercising at 5am five years ago, this phenomenon blew me away. You mean I was "giving up" two hours of sleep, but I felt more energized, more alert throughout the day? You bet. It's oxymoron #1.

Oxymoron #2: If you want to lose weight, you must EAT.
C'mon, I know you've had this thought before: "Shoot. I need to lose a few pounds. I'm going to skip breakfast and lunch and just eat dinner today."

That's called the starvation diet, and it works. For about a day. Then one of two things happens:
A) You are SO HUNGRY and SO CRANKY that you eat a day's worth of calories at the dinner table, or
B) You are successful in starving yourself for a few days, and your metabolism rewards you accordingly by slowing down a notch or six, causing you to hold on to every ounce of fat because clearly there is a famine going on.

If you want to be healthy and lose weight, you must feed your body regularly. Preferably stuff it recognizes like veggies, fruit, lean protein, whole grains. (If you want some recipe ideas, click on the "Recipes" label on the right side of this blog. I'm not posting these recipes for my health...I'm posting them for yours!)

There are many methods to the madness of eating, but here's how Zach and I do it:
6:30am: Breakfast (usually Shakeology, oatmeal or eggs)
9:30am: Morning snack
Noon: Lunch
3:30pm: Afternoon snack
6pm: Dinner

We eat like infants on a strict schedule. And why wouldn't you eat that way? You're not hungry and your metabolism is revving like a fine-tuned engine. I've messed with cutting out snacks and I end up gaining weight. I feel like this is the world's best kept oxymoron secret: EAT to lose weight!

Oxymoron #3: If you are retaining water, drink more water.
I don't have solid evidence on this belief, but I think that most people in America walk around in a dehydrated state most of the time. We drink plenty of "stuff," but not near enough water. Here's what happens when you don't drink enough water:

From APEC Water, www.freedrinkingwater.com

Water helps your liver convert fat into usable energy. If you don't drink enough, your kidneys are overwhelmed with concentrated fluids, and they will make your liver do extra work. Your liver works hard to turn your body fat into the energy that you use but if it has to do the kidney's work, then it simply hold onto the extra fat that would have been burned off if you simply had enough water. 

And what's worse is that instead of excreting water and waste products, you body retains existing water to reuse. This is what causes water retention and bloating. When you don't get enough water, your body panics and holds on to it selfishly, as though you're in a famine. Dehydration thus can make you look bloated and fat instead of thin and taut. The best way to get rid of this water retention is to drink enough of it to return your body and its processes back to a normal equilibrium. 

Water regulates body temperature, filters out impurities, and keeps the brain working properly while transporting nutrients to and from cells. While the human body can store energy as glycogen, fat, and tissue, it cannot "store" water - the body uses its own water but expects us to provide a continuous supply of fresh new water regularly to function. Water is critical in moving nutrients into and out of a cell, an action known as the "ion pump". When you take in the improper balance of sodium and potassium or do not drink adequate water, your body will increase a hormone and try to "retain" water by keeping your kidneys from filtering it. Ironically, one of the best ways to stop retaining water is to drink more water!

If you have trouble with water retention, turn to oxymoron #3, which says to drink more water to get rid of water!

The great news is that all these oxymorons boil down to the following facts:
- If you exercise, you're going to have tons of energy to expend on the other things you've got to do in life.
- If you want to lose weight, you get to eat* on a regular basis.
- If you drink water, you get to lose that extra water weight you're carrying around.

What's not to like about oxymorons?

* By eat, I mean real stuff like the things in my recipe section. Not Cheetos.   

Love, Loss, and Chickens

I sat at my desk in the house, which was quiet for the first time in nearly three months since the kids went back to school earlier that morning. A bump at the door, hard enough to make the blinds swing, interrupted the peaceful morning. I got up to see what had caused the noise.

Before I even stepped outside I saw something terribly wrong. Brown feathers everywhere, swirling in the wind on the patio. I swung the door open and stepped into the chaos of a dog attacking one of our chickens.

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This has been a difficult year for our family. In January Zach and I entered our tenth year of marriage with high hopes. We booked a trip to Disney World and made plans to celebrate our anniversary with a night out on the town at a concert, like we used to do before we had kids. 

Then came the diagnosis: Zach's Dad had stage four esophageal cancer. Prognosis was grim.

Ever since I've known him, Zach and his Dad have had projects. They put down ceramic floors. Laminate floors. Fixed troubled A/C units. Removed engines from trucks to change timing belts. Built patio covers (twice). Built our shop/gym. Four years ago they embarked on the ultimate project, the one they had always dreamed about: building a cabin on the land that they bought together. 

It took three years to build, mostly during three-day summer weekends. They built that cabin from the ground up, by hand, with no help. It's beautiful. Every time I walk in I cannot believe what an accomplishment that place is. A testament to their creativity, their hard work, their determination, their teamwork. 

While they were in the process of building the cabin, I often told Zach, "You know you guys are building your Dad's retirement cabin, right?" And we were fine with that. Nobody deserved a retirement cabin more than Zach's Dad, and we were happy that he was going to spend many quiet, lazy, retirement days at the East Texas cabin in the woods.

Two days before his official retirement he learned he had cancer. Seven months later he was gone. 

Sad is not the default state at our house. As a family we have fun, we work hard, we try to look for the positive in things. But this year has been Confusing. Troubled. Worried. Fearful. Bitter. Angry. Sleepless. It has been Sad.  

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I stepped out on that patio where the neighbor dog from two doors down was attacking my chicken, and I Lost It. I screeched at the top of my lungs, which stunned the dog enough for me to kick it away from the chicken. Since the dog had squeezed through a small gap in the gate, there was nowhere for it to retreat. I chased it across the backyard and cornered it by the fence, where I kicked it and screamed at it. I just wanted it to go away, to leave my chicken and me alone. I fumbled with the chain on the gate and opened it. The dog ran out of the yard.

I hoped that somehow the other chicken had escaped to the coop, and opened the door to see that there was just an egg in the nesting box, that was it. 

I looked under the deck where our chickens hang out in the day, and I saw Ginger's dead body lying among a pile of feathers. Polly wedged herself between the shop and the deck, not seriously wounded but obviously traumatized.

I sat down on the deck and sobbed. I sobbed for my dead chicken. For my scared chicken. For my kids, who have experienced more death this year than any two small kids ever should. For my husband. For his sisters and mom. For all the years of retirement stolen from my father-in-law by that bitter thief, cancer. 

Then I gathered myself as best as I could. Called Zach and told him about the situation. Got a bag and a hoe and removed the dead bird from under my deck. 

The previous day Zach and I had discussed buying more chickens, since two eggs per day was not quite enough. We decided to go ahead and pick up four more chickens to smooth out what would be a rough conversation with the kids. While ordinarily this might be a chance to teach our kids a lesson about loss, we felt like it's a lesson they've learned many times over already this year. 

And so we move on, adjusting to new circumstances. Trying to find a new normal.

And then there were two

Rest in peace, Roxie. You were a good, fat chicken.

Several weeks ago I took a look at our last leghorn from our original flock and I told Zach, "There is no way that bird can live very long. She is So. Huge."

A week or so after that we made an appointment with "The Chicken Lady" in the town next to ours. "The Chicken Lady" is not a derogatory term; that's really what she calls herself. She's a lovely woman, actually. We made a pilgrimage out to her farm to see what we could learn from the expert on all things chicken (and goat, by the way). We told her we'd like to add to our flock, but knew that it needed to be handled delicately.

The Chicken Lady and her husband were very gracious and showed us around their very impressive chicken and goat farm. During our visit we learned several really important things, but the most important thing we learned is:

We really should have bought our chickens from The Chicken Lady seven months ago. 

As we wandered over to see their impressive flock of chicks, Zach and I told the Chicken Husband about the crazy leghorn we have that was positively HUGE despite not really seeming to eat much more than the others.

"What color are her eggs?" he asked.

"Light brown," I said.

"You don't have a leghorn," he said. "What you have is a broiler."

A broiler?

"That chicken was bred to be slaughtered for meat around 45 days of age. They are engineered to get very big, very fast. Soon she will stop laying eggs, and her body will overwhelm her legs so that she won't be able to walk anymore. Then she'll most likely get sick and die, if you don't take care of her first."

Oh dear. Once again, the kids' favorite chicken in peril. Should have been slaughtered five months ago. Dangit. 

"What other breeds do you have?" The Chicken Lady asked.

"Rhode Island Reds," Zach replied.

"Ugh. MEAN birds, those Rhode Island Reds. I refuse to carry them anymore," she said. "They are great layers, but they do not get along with any other breeds. If you want more chickens, you've either got to get more Rhode Island Reds, or get rid of the Reds."

GEEEEEEZ! Can I catch a break in the chicken department already? Now I've got one bird doomed by obesity (ironic, considering my job as a trainer and fitness coach), and two birds that are so nasty they can't be around any birds but each other. And I'm not even going to revisit the violent chicken events leading up to our current situation.

The kids were present for the entirety of our conversation with The Chicken Couple, and Drew immediately knew something was wrong with Roxie. We told him that most likely she wouldn't live much longer, but as long as she wasn't in pain we would keep her and enjoy her company. (Her eggs never have been up to snuff, as she continued to lay soft-shelled eggs that we don't eat every other day or so.)

Fast forward to this past weekend, and Roxie has developed an awful looking limp. She's extremely dirty from laying around all the time, and generally looks miserable. Zach and I decide that it's time to do something, and warn the kids that it won't be much longer.

I'll spare you the details of Roxie's departure and simply FADE TO BLACK on that good 'ol bird. I'm going to try to remember her cheerful, trusting nature, and that fantastic waddle.

Now we are down to two birds, but boy can they lay some beautiful eggs. We do want more chickens, though, so the plan is to create a temporary space where we can house five or so chicks that we buy from The Chicken Lady, and raise them while we keep the Reds for their laying skills. Once the new chicks are laying then we will find a home for the Reds, which shouldn't be too hard because people will crawl all over hens who are already laying, whether they're mean or not.

Oh...how did the kids take it, you ask? Well, today we learned another lesson about the delivery of bad news: do it when cartoons are on. It softens the blow considerably.

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Workout of the Day

Focus T25 Total Body Circuit

I've got to get off the subject of chickens and devote an entire blog to how FANTASTIC this workout is. Just 25 minutes a day of pure, hard work. The smartest, most efficient workout I've ever done. 

Protein on the cheap

We have been working on this "clean eating" thing for quite a few years now, and I think it's safe to say that eating nutritiously costs more. It's a sad fact, but in my opinion it's a worthy expense to spring for a few pounds of apples versus a 14-pack of Snickers bars.

But there is one food staple that can give you tons of good protein on the cheap: dried beans.

I've been using canned beans for convenience for quite awhile now. They are just simple and fast, and relatively inexpensive. But one day I was perusing the dried beans and saw that a bag cost less than a can. I was interested to see how much a bag would make. Here's what I found:

The can is pinto beans and the baggies are chickpeas, but you get the idea.

One can (approximately a cup and a half) of beans: about 99 cents.
One bag of beans (yielded six cups): about 89 cents.

And the best part? The beans I cooked taste better than the canned beans.

After that little experiment, I was sold on bagged beans. I decided that I'd commit to making large batches of beans to store in the freezer. Today I cooked two bags of chickpeas and a large bag of black beans.

Investment: about four bucks. Yield: 21 cups of beans.

Beans are a tremendous source of protein that are full of fiber, water, and antioxidants. And they have no saturated fat to clog your arteries.

Three ounces of chicken has roughly 21 grams of protein. To get the equivalent amount of protein in black beans you would need to eat about 1 1/3 cups.

Here's the other good news about cooking your own beans: pre-soaking them reduces the flatulence factor! Apparently soaking the beans allows the beans to release enzymes that break down complex sugars into simple sugars, and since it's the complex sugars that are responsible for gas, then the soaked beans are less likely to give you the toots.

I have really grown to like beans in the past year or so. I'll eat those chickpeas up there out of the sack like they're a snack food (as will Drew).

Check out my "Recipes" label on the right to find plenty of bean recipes. Here is how I prepare my beans from the bag:

- Remove beans from bag and remove any duds/stones/crazy lookin' ones.
- Soak them overnight or at least for a few hours in a big bowl. Put lots of water in the bowl because the beans will soak it up.
- Strain beans and rinse with more water.
- Put beans in a large pot with water about 3 inches above beans and some seasoning: salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, chili powder...whatever you like. You could even dice some onions or peppers in there if you like the spice.
- Bring beans to a boil then reduce to a simmer. Cook for around an hour and test the tenderness.
- Remove the beans from the stove and strain the water.
- Wait for them to cool and then place in freezer bags in 1 1/2 cup increments.
- Freeze 'em up!

These beans thaw pretty quickly so they're available to use on salads, for hummus, or for whatever you're fixing that day. Try it out! Your waistline and checking account will look better for it.

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Workout of the Day

Les Mills Combat 30

Focus T25 starts tomorrow!

Summer in rapid fire

Oh my. It's been nearly a month since I blogged last. This summer has been jam-packed with trips, chickens, gardening, bike riding, chigger bites, grandparents, cousins, swimming, Insanity (the workout, not the state of mind), and boot camp training. With each day that passes it becomes more apparent to me that I'm not going to be able to give each subject due time in its own separate blog, so I've decided to do a rapid-fire re-cap.

In no particular order, here's what's been going on this month:

#1: Losing teeth!

In the interest of full disclosure, this actually happened in May, but this picture of Drew's dangling tooth is so hilarious and awful that I felt it must be included.

#2: Team Beachbody Coach Summit in Las Vegas

Zach and I had a good time in Las Vegas for the Coach Summit meeting. We met new/old friends, participated in live workouts and training, and heard John Maxwell speak. The fabulous ladies below I've know through Facebook for the better part of a year, but only met in person last week.

We did a live Les Mills Combat workout with about 2,000 people that was super fun. Here's Zach getting his aschiva on (spelling? this is one of those martial arts terms that I have no idea how to spell).

Vanilla Shakeology! This one was a surprise. Beachbody has been looking for a "clean" source of vanilla for nearly three years, and they finally found it in the Malagasi farmers of Madagascar. The vanilla plants are hand-pollinated by these farmers!

We also got to meet and talk with Darin Olien, the co-creator of Shakeology. We listened to him speak about the process the team went through to find a natural vanilla source, and I was blown away by the integrity of Beachbody as a company.

They absolutely refuse to compromise on quality of the ingredients in this shake, while investing in the livelihood of indigenous farmers around the world. Beachbody is essentially providing microfinancing to these farmers to help them grow crops in a sustainable fashion, while supporting the Madagascar economy so that schools can be built.

Please take a minute to watch this video:

But how does vanilla Shakeology taste, you ask? As always, we go to the kids for an opinion:



We also tried out Shaun T's new Focus T25 workout live, and bought the program to start in July.
Each workout is only 25 minutes long, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be a game-changer. More on this topic to come!

And finally, at Summit we participated in a super workout with about 7,000 people. I'd estimate we were a half mile from the stage!

#3: I made this, and it was yummy:

Roasted Vegetable Cous Cous from Southern Living

#4: I have a GREAT IDEA, Mom!
How about you put one braid here, and another braid here, and then put a pony tail in the middle. And then put this barrette in too, okay? Isn't that a GREAT IDEA?

#5: MONSTER ZUCCHINI PLANTS

#6: Chickens laying eggs

The peace in the coop continues, and Polly has begun to lay eggs along with Roxie! We have a suspicion that Polly may also be eating some of her eggs, but it is thus far unconfirmed. We are keeping a close watch.

In case you missed Roxie running on Facebook, here you go. It will change your life.

#7: I read this book, and it made me twitchy and preachy about processed food.

#8: As a result of #7, I sought and found some jelly at the store that does not contain high fructose corn syrup. Hooray! (Yes, this is still a processed food, but it's a lesser evil, and kids gotta have some PB&J in their life! I'm just glad I can do it with straight up sugar rather than HFCS.)

Whew! That's it. Two more trips and many more fun things to go this summer.

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Workout of the Day

Insanity Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs

Polly, Rehabilitated

I am pleased to report that there is peace in the coop. Against all odds, Polly the Picker has been rehabilitated.

Everything I read said that if you've got a cannibalistic chicken in your flock, you will most likely have to cull her. We didn't know what we would do, so we separated her for two weeks, allowing only supervised visitation with Roxie and Ginger.

The Vicks on Roxie's behind kicked off the rehabilitation process, but you know what finished it? This:

One night we were out pitching the ball to Drew so he could hit it. I was the pitcher, and I looked over at the chickens only to see Polly pick at Roxie's behind.

I chunked that tennis ball as hard as I could and nailed that chicken.

She jumped in the air, squawked like crazy and ran for cover behind the coop. It was the last time we saw her pick.

I bet PETA would have some issues with me lobbing tennis balls at birds, but you know what? It was that, or ring her neck. I think even PETA would agree the tennis ball was a kinder option.

Roxie and Polly, peacefully co-existing.

Now the pecking order is clear: Roxie, Polly, Ginger. Although Polly and Ginger have been having little episodes where they bow up at each other and feathers get ruffled. Not sure what that is all about quite yet.

Roxie is giving us roughly an egg a day. Sometimes she skips a day, and sometimes the egg is huge and sometimes the egg is small. Zach cracked two huge Roxie eggs the other day and got six yolks. This morning I fixed Drew "Egg in a Hole" with two perfect little Roxie eggs, one yolk per egg. We're gettin' there!

I'm hopeful that Polly is nearly ready to lay, as her waddle and comb have gotten bigger and are bright red; that's a sign that they are close to laying, and that is what happened with Roxie.

Last week we had three chickens and three rabbits grazing in our backyard.
Sometimes the chickens chase the rabbits, which is entertaining.

The kids are still enamored with these chickens. They play with the chickens way more than they ever played with our dog, and the highlight of their day is to go feed the chickens a handful of corn. Well, actually that's the number two highlight behind checking for eggs.

I have to admit I'm pretty enamored with them, too, although I really can't figure out why. I still feel bad about Nadine and wish she was still around. We have thought about adding another hen but we don't want to rock the boat just yet. Polly's delicate mental state may not take too well to a new bird in the flock. I can't believe I'm considering a bird's mental state. That's life with chickens, I guess.

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Workout of the Day
P90X2 - Chest, Shoulders, and Triceps